


Lover's Gambit

by PaperHatsandPaperBoats



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Chess but make it twenty questions, F/F, I don't know how to play chess, This might be angsty, neither does Kara
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-01-30
Packaged: 2021-03-16 01:00:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29073708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PaperHatsandPaperBoats/pseuds/PaperHatsandPaperBoats
Summary: Lena's favorite game on paper is chess. In reality, her favorite game is whatever is set up on Kara's living room table. Jenga, Life, Scrabble, it didn't matter which one was out, it become her favorite.Since their fall out and the start of their tentative reconnection, Lena hasn't felt ready to accept Kara's invites to game night so her favorite game, on paper and in her new reality, is chess.OR Lena invites Kara over for a one on one game night to rebuild their friendship through a game of chess.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor
Comments: 41
Kudos: 455





	Lover's Gambit

“Why are we doing this again?” Kara asks, placing a bowl of popcorn down and scooting her chair in closer to the table in front of her. Lena sat across the table, unmoving, unemotional.

“You said I should host a game night to, and I quote” Lena pauses and rolls her eyes, placing her balled up fists on her hips in a sitting Supergirl pose, “ _See that everyone still loves you and wants you to beat them at every game, just do it, you’ll love it_.”

“Okay, I do not sound like that, my voice is not that high,” Kara bites her lip to stop the laugh that wants to bubble out of her. “But it’s just the two of us. The whole point was to get everyone interacting again.”

Lena drops the fake, over exaggerated version of Kara’s smile. She drops her hands from her hips and folds them in her lap. Kara can hear her swallow thickly, and breathe out a slow, deep sigh.

“Yes well I don’t feel comfortable around everyone. Not yet.”

Kara studies Lena’s furrowed brow, her fingers clasped together in her lap. She watches Lena’s eyes dart around the board in front of her, looking anywhere but at her. Even without seeing, Kara can tell Lena is reflecting. Reflecting back on the months of conversations. How they’ve tried to rebuild what they were. Kara knows because she is thinking the same thing.

Their conversations were few and far between at first. It took nearly a month after the defeat of Leviathan for a proper one on one conversation. It had only lasted fifteen minutes before Kara was called away. But it was a start that led to many more small meetups.

They’ve had countless conversations about what lying did and didn’t mean. They talked about the secret being Kara’s and Kara’s alone to tell when she felt it was right. How keeping the secret of Supergirl didn’t equate to their friends laughing at Lena behind her back. That most had encouraged Kara to tell her sooner. That their friends asked about Lena every chance they got. 

Kara told Lena time and time again that it wasn’t about keeping something from her, it wasn’t even really about protecting Lena after a certain point. There were conversations where Kara told Lena that she didn’t need saving. Not from Supergirl or from anyone. That Lena was powerful on her own. That she was good and smart. She didn’t need to be alone to be good. That Lena didn’t need to give up trusting people to feel powerful. That she still could trust Kara. Their friends.

Their biggest most repetitive conversation was Kara telling Lena that she only ever wanted to be Kara. Just Kara. The person that Lena let her be.

Kara told her about that feeling. The feeling of one person. One person in all the world that she didn’t have to be something bigger than just Kara with or for. Kara wanted to be someone’s best friend. Someone's confidant. Someone’s hero. Without the grandiose cape and costume. She was allowed to be human. Completely human. 

They’ve talked about why it took so long. The conversations, often a repetition of the same words, lasted for weeks. And Kara would continue having them. For as long as it takes.

“Okay,” Kara offered a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes, “Okay. One on one game night. Great. But I don’t know how to play chess. Can we do jenga or like scrabble or something?”

“No,” Lena replies curtly. Kara suddenly feels as if none of their conversations ever happened. That Lena has transgressed back to the moment in the fortress. The tears, the rage, the hatred. It was all still stored behind her emotionless mask. Lena silently hands Kara a book. “I know you can speed read. So, read up.”

Kara looks down at the cover of the book, _Chess for Dummies_ , laughing through her nose before opening the book. Less than two minutes later, feeling Lena’s gaze on her the entire time, she closes the cover.

“So that book was enlightening,” Kara waves it in the air before placing it on the floor next to her chair. “Plus I’ve seen the Queen’s Gambit. I’m not saying I’m going to beat you but I’m pretty sure I’ll give you a run for your money.” 

“I’m sure,” Lena responds. It lacks commitment, conviction, and Kara began to mentally pull up which conversations they were bound to repeat tonight. How she could reword them so they stuck this time. So Lena could actually feel it and hear it.

Kara watches Lena’s hands lift a small box from the drawer in the table. The click of the latch echoing in the silent apartment. Kara notes the briefest of upticks in Lena’s heartbeat as her fingers dance over the black and white pieces in the box. 

“You lied. You.” Lena glances up for the faintest of seconds before placing a white knight on the board. Kara continues watching her, debating on what she wants to respond with when Lena places a rook, louder than the first piece, cutting off any response Kara might have.

“My father lied to me my whole life. Lillian. Lex. Andrea lied to me.” Lena punctuates each sentence with the placement of a piece on the board. 

“Did you know I came here, to National City, to work with you, with Supergirl? Did I ever tell you that?” Lena places a pawn and looks at a spot just above Kara’s eyes but not at them. Kara wants to self consciously cover the scar on her forehead but stops herself. 

“I didn’t know that, no,” Kara rubs the fabric of her sweater in her fingers, feeling entirely too observed and on trial.

“Well I did. I also almost left because of you,” Lena resumes placing pieces on the board, running her thumb over the queen’s crown before setting it down. Kara can’t watch Lena’s movements any longer, they are too slow and soft while her words cut deeply.

“My name was never great to me. It was always a tether. A hindrance. Always holding me back. Relationships held me back. I let them,” Lena circles the top of a pawn between her thumb and forefinger. 

“I remember the first time you invited me to game night. Business relationship,” she scoffs, a bitter smile breaking out on her face as she places the pawn.

“Our friendship was never a business relationship. Your intentions were never misplaced,” Lena sighs, shaking her head as she places the next piece. “I should never have said that to you.”

“You’ve done the talking. The apologizing for months now and I’ve chosen to just listen,” Lena places the last piece on the board and folds her hands back in her lap. “But this game night. Chess. My game. Will be two games in one,” She looks at Kara directly, tilting her head just slightly. “I felt... I feel like I don’t know you anymore. Every move you make, you get to ask me a question. I can do the same. Deal?”

“Chess but make it twenty questions. You’ve got a deal,” Kara reaches her hand across the board, holding it midair as Lena surveys it. Kara watches one sculpted eyebrow raise before Lena reaches out and slowly wraps her hand around Kara’s. Kara can’t help the smile that spreads across her face. The warmth, the softness of Lena. Like the chess pieces placed on the board, Kara was finally privy to it. 

“Our first lunch,” Lena lets go and smooths down the thighs of her pants. “Do you remember what I said at the very beginning?”

“I mean,” confusion is etched on Kara’s face, “we talked about a lot, what specifically?”

Lena continues to hold Kara’s gaze, the faintest of smiles gracing her lips before she says, “Game on.”

Kara closes her eyes for a second, calling back the memory of the first lunch. How young they were. How easy it had been. She shifts that thought to the side in order to recall the pages she just read, what opening she should make. She almost wants to laugh at herself for knowing this much about chess in less than two minutes. Laugh at how she had read faster than she ever had before so she could impress Lena with her skills in a game she knows Lena loves.

Lena watches Kara’s closed eyes crinkle a little. Watches the corners of her mouth turn up in a secret smile. She doesn’t let herself think about what that could mean. Lena watches as Kara reaches out and moves one white pawn up two spaces.  
“Okay,” Kara shakes out her arms and wiggles her shoulders, thinking of a good opening question. “What is one thing you want me to know?”

“I used your love for me against you. Dozens of times,” Lena didn’t even need time to think of a response, as if she knew this question was coming. 

“What?” Kara immediately tensed, not realized her opening question surely set the tone for the rest of the questions. She had chosen incorrectly. Kara wished she would have picked something easy like Lena’s favorite equation or outfit. “How exactly did you do that?”

“Not your turn,” Lena didn’t look up from the board, simply moved her own black pawn two spaces. If anyone else sat across from Lena they wouldn’t have been able to detect the minute tremble in Lena’s hand, but Kara notices.

Kara wants to huff back into her chair but it was only the first move. The first question. She couldn’t let herself get frustrated that easily. Not with Lena, not when her first question had already rattled her.

“Tell me again why you waited?” Lena asked this question for the ninth time. Kara knows because she’s kept count. 

“I wanted to be the me that I am with you. A completely different version than I was ever allowed to be before. A version I liked. More than Kara Danvers. More than Kara Zor-El. More than Supergirl. I liked me with you. Because I didn’t have to be more.”

Kara doesn’t bother moving her piece before asking, “How exactly did you use me?”

“I think you know a lot of them by now. At first, I used you for a connection to Supergirl. I used you for the fortress. I used you for DEO technology. Lex’s journals. I used you to better my image. I also…” Lena pauses, Kara watches her jaw clench, it looks just about as tight as Kara’s heart feels. “I knew you’d never say no to me. Even if… when I used kryptonite. I always knew you’d say yes and be there no matter what.”

Kara felt her stomach drop. She knew these instances. They’d briefly talked about each one spread out in many different conversations. Hearing them all at once felt like a gut-punch. 

Kara made her move, putting all of her will into keeping her hand steady. Unshaking. Her piece in place, she tilts her head up, steadying her body and mind and stares at Lena. Kara felt like she was daring Lena to ask something real. Something deep. Something their past conversations hadn’t covered yet.

Kara watches as Lena’s eyes dart around the board, the living room, her eyes follow Kara’s hand as she reaches for the bowl of popcorn. Her eyes linger on Kara’s lips as she pops the kernels into her mouth one at a time.

Kara attempts to maintain a casual air about herself. Eating the snacks, waiting patiently, all while listening intently to the steady increase of Lena’s heart beat. All while watching Lena track her movements and linger on her lips.

“What’s your favorite color?” Lena asks, not looking at Kara but instead focusing on the diagonal move of her bishop.

Kara almost can’t believe the question. So much so that she has to snap her mouth shut after she realizes it's hanging open. She knows Lena didn’t see it because she hasn’t even looked up at her.

“Really? That’s your question? You know the answer to that already. It’s green. And you know that because I told you even though the one thing that can kill me is green, I love it for the trees and the grass in spring and your.... Why is that your question?” Kara does huff back into her chair now. Willing Lena to look up at her.

“It’s your move Kara. Would you like that to be your question?”

Lena leveled Kara with a void expression. Kara felt a tiny shudder down her spine. She couldn’t read Lena at all. Kara had no idea what the end game was here. Granted, it had only a handful of moves, but Kara knew Lena could beat her in less than twenty. If she was wasting a question, this had more to do with Kara asking the right questions than it did with Lena asking any questions at all. So Kara decided to press forward.

“Do you…” Kara uncrosses her arms, leaning forward in her chair. She really didn’t want to ask this question. She really didn’t want to make Lena feel more like a villain than she already believed herself to be but this could be the point of the game. “Do you truly believe your actions were justified? If any other friend had lied about themselves. If they had been there for you, loved you, supported you, but you didn’t know they weren’t human. Would you have used them the way you did me? Would you have done the things you did?”

“It’s not the same, Kara,” Lena responds quietly, her eyes trained on her black chess pieces. Her hands fidgeting in her lap.

“That’s not an answer, Lena.” 

“Supergirl. You. You treated me differently in that costume. You were cold and harsh and unforgiving. And then seconds later, you held me on my couch as if you weren’t the same person. It’s not the same.

“Still not an answer. You attempted to kill me after you knew who I was. I was never malicious with your friendship. Your heart. I only ever loved you.” Kara leaned forward on the table, desperately wanting to reach out.

“You didn’t though. Not as Supergirl,” Lena, unconsciously or not, shifted closer to Kara’s outstretched hand, not close enough to touch but the movement was noticeable.

“Yes I did,” Kara felt herself getting worked up again, her chest heaving. She knew the heightened volume of her voice was causing the tightening of Lena’s posture, causing her to move away again. Kara tried to calm her voice. This wasn’t a fight. They had grown since their screaming match in the fortress. “I had to be more cautious as Supergirl and not because you’re a Luthor, never because of that. I always came back to you as me. As Kara. Even in that costume. I tried to be your friend. I never stopped trying.”

Kara inches her hand along the table, closer to Lena’s tensed form. Lena wraps her arms around herself, appearing to shield herself from answering the question. Kara feels the heavy breath Lena lets out ghost across her face. She drinks it in. The closeness.

“No. Nothing I did was justified,” Lena lifts her chin, sitting up straighter, hands gripping her sides tighter, “I was scared and hurt. First when your super alter ego stopped trusting me and treated me like a villain. Then, when you, Kara you, stopped checking in. I thought I had done something wrong. Alex was there but you weren’t. Then, the nail in the coffin I buried myself in, when you told me you were Supergirl.” 

Lena’s chin drops slightly, the memory of her actions twisting around her heart, as she uncurls her arms from around herself. Kara follows Lena’s bottom lip as it’s sucks between her teeth, follows her eyes as they drop to Kara’s hand on the table. She notes the hesitancy as Lena carefully places her hand on the table and slides it closer, closer, until the tips of her fingers cover Kara’s short nails.

“I acted out, I wanted to hurt you. Make you feel as bad as I felt. I knew exactly how to do that too. It was not justified. I’m sorry Kara. I wish you knew how sorry I was,” Lena reaches a little further still, slipping her fingers under Kara’s palm, offering the faintest of squeezes. The briefest of smiles.

Kara curls her fingers gently around Lena’s and moves her knight. She wanted nothing more than to continue this game holding Lena’s hand, loaded questions or not. At least she would know Lena was actually there with her, feeling her words, her hand. But Lena slips out from under Kara’s light grip and settles back in her chair.

“Tell me something _you_ want _me_ to know,” Lena moves her rook and instead of keeping her eyes off Kara, she looks up, ready to be a part of the conversation with the breaking of the physical barrier. 

Kara knew that would work. Every other conversation had gone the same. Anger, heat, fire, until Kara reached out. A hand hold, an arm around her shoulder, a tight hug. It usually took longer, but Kara wasn’t going to point that out.

“I relived multiple timelines with a, actually, who they are is a really long story, but I want you to know that I went back in time, real time, not a simulation. I tried so many different times and ways to tell you who I really was. At the very beginning, the middle, just before Lex. Once I even… I made it so we were never friends. But it never mattered. It was always worse.” Kara had kept her travels with Mxyzptlk from Lena all throughout their conversations. She hadn’t known how to properly explain it. They hadn’t been in a place where Kara felt vulnerable enough to relive all the death and horror. But right now, Kara felt Lena here. More present than she had been in over a year.

“What happened?” Lena gripped the edge of the table with her hand, knuckles turning white.

“Not your move,” Kara’s attempt at a smile came out as a grimace. While she wants to tell Lena everything, Kara needs a minute to process the how of telling her. What parts to keep out, if she should leave anything out at all.

“Why did you pretend for so long?” Kara moved another pawn and sat back, waiting for a response.

“At first,” Lena paused, looking up at the ceiling before looking back, “I needed time to plan a way to ruin you like you ruined me. But I think that wasn’t even true. I wasn’t ready to let you go yet. You were so earnest and kind. Both versions of you. You were lighter. That’s when I started using you the most. To carry out my evil deeds, yes,” Lena let out a somber laugh, “But also because I just wanted… needed you to be around. For just a little longer before I completely let you go.”

Kara watched tears begin to swim in Lena’s eyes as she made her move. 

“If I hadn’t learned you were lying and playing with me, tainting that whole time, I would have said that was the happiest I had ever been,” Kara admits, not needing a question to reveal that truth. “Having you know all of me. Being able to be honest and around you all the time, no matter what mask I was wearing.”

“The guilt of it all almost made me stop. But my anger always won. Even when I could tell you were so happy,” a stray tear rolls down Lena’s cheek. “I’m so sorry Kara.”

Before she can stop herself, Kara half stands from her chair and reaches across the chess board, capturing the tear with her thumb, wiping it away, allowing herself to linger longer than she should against Lena’s cheek. Kara just wanted to feel her, wanted Lena to feel her.

“I forgive you,” Kara reluctantly retreats back to her seat, her smile sad but hopeful.

“I know,” Lena presses her finger to the corner of her eye, stopping the second tear from trailing down her cheek. She offers Kara a watery smile as she makes her move.

“What happened in the timelines?” 

“Well,” Kara runs her hands through her hair, sighing, “I want to preface this by saying the you and the me in these timelines are not the people we are now or ever will be okay? I’ll never think of you like that and I hope you never think of me in these ways either.”

When Lena nods her silent approval Kara starts. She starts with her own death, then Lena’s, she ends with the worst universe possible, when they never became friends. Kara felt her eyes tearing up remembering the pain of Lena standing over her, killing her slowly.

“Why did you want to see a world where we weren’t friends?” Lena asks, barely above a whisper.

“I don’t know. Every other option was just so… bad. I had to see if you would be better without me entirely.”

“I’d never be better without you.” This time it was Lena that reaches her hand out across the table. Kara felt her heart swell at the action. It was the first time Lena had initiated any contact with her in the months since their reconnection. Kara had to force herself to not use her super speed to grab on as fast as she could.

“I know that now. Definitively,” Kara runs her thumb over Lena’s knuckles, keeping her smile small and light. Nowhere near the grin she was feeling inside. Lena moves a piece, but keeps her hold on Kara’s hand. 

“You know we’ve had these conversations dozens of times right?” Kara makes her own move, taking one of Lena’s pawns.

“I was there, yes,” Lena’s move takes out Kara’s knight.

“You know I’ll always be there for you, in a crisis, no matter how big or small right?” Lena searches Kara’s eyes, hoping that Kara’s expression would reveal the response before her words could.

“I didn’t for a bit,” Kara’s sad smile turns up as it finally reaches her eyes, as the thumb running over Lena’s knuckles slows down, “but I do now.”

“You hurt me just as much as I hurt you. You get that right?” Kara takes out Lena’s rook, squeezing Lena’s hand in victory of taking an important piece.

“I do, yes, and I’ve never regretted anything more,” Lena makes her move, not taking her eyes off Kara. “Tell me again why you waited.”

Kara sighed, almost wanting to laugh, but she closed her eyes and smiled to herself. She rotates their hands, threading her fingers with Lena’s.

“Because I loved me when I was with you. I loved you too much to not have us any more. And I knew telling you would ruin it.” Kara hears Lena’s heart skip a beat. She can see the muscles of Lena’s neck and jaw straining, before Lena finally relaxes at the words. Relaxing instead of fighting back.

“You’re exhausting you know that?” Kara grips Lena’s fingers tighter, laughing a little, her question light and teasing, as she moves a piece on the board. 

“I do, yes,” Lena makes to remove her hand from Kara’s but Kara wouldn’t let her go, she just holds on tighter. Lena observed their intertwined hands closely, looks up to the earnest look on Kara’s face. “Are you too exhausted to keep trying?”

“Lena, that’s not what I meant. That was a bad joke, I’m sorry,” Kara wraps her other hand around Lena’s, encasing the retreating hand in her own. “I’d rather talk myself hoarse having the same conversations over and over for the rest of our lives, as long as you're in it, I’ll keep trying.”

Kara can hear and feel how wild and erratic Lena’s heartbeat is. She can feel the buzzing of Lena’s body. See her wide, glossy eyes searching Kara’s face for any sign of a lie. Any sign that Kara would leave her. 

“Do you love me?” Lena whispers, pulling the corner of her bottom lip between her teeth. Kara feels the slightest tug back on the hand she is holding but refuses to let it go. 

Kara knows she loves Lena. Lena knows Kara loves her, but the question, the way Lena asks it, just like this game, there is a double meaning. Kara feels it in Lena’s heartbeat, she can feel it in the heat of her hands, the sudden clamminess. She feels their entire future hanging on four words. It feels like too much and not enough.

“It’s not your turn,” Kara removes one of her hands to womble the top of the queen under one finger, calculating her response and her move.

“Kara,” desperation drips off of Lena’s single plea. Kara had no idea her name could hold so much emotion, so much unsaid meaning, not until Lena whispers it like that.

“I said it’s not your turn. Let me think about my move. I think I’ve got you on the ropes,” Kara doesn’t know why she is stalling. Everything she wants is right in front of her, in her hands even.

“Check,” Kara looks up with a steady gaze while moving her bishop to the right of Lena’s queen. “Do you love me?”

Another skipped heartbeat, another tug of the hand, another deep breath. 

“Yes,” one single word. So breathy Kara barely registers it as a word. It rushes out of Lena, starting from the tips of her toes, bursting through her chest, stinging her throat, her eyes, and seeping out of her mouth. The single truest thing Lena has ever uttered, let pass through her body, mind, and heart. Let the world hear. “Yes.”

Kara has to bite her tongue before the sob that has been building for months leaves her mouth. She had been vulnerable, she had been angry, defensive, apologetic. Every version of their conversations had been a different emotion. This was no different. But it was. It was different in every way imaginable. Kara felt like Lena heard her. She felt like she had said the right things. Had repeated the same words enough that they mattered. This was the moment that mattered for their future, whatever that _yes_ meant.

“Do you love me?” Lena moves her queen away from the attack, her eyes darting to the board for a millisecond to execute the move before looking back at Kara. Lena’s eyes held fear, hope, wonder, longing. It felt impossible for one look to hold so much. Kara curled her toes in her socks, pushing them into the hard floor to keep herself rooted in her chair. 

“I do. So much Lena,” Kara waits for a reaction. Waits for any shift in Lena’s face. She only hears a burst in Lena’s chest, the faintest sound of a wet wobble in her lips. Kara dials every sense she has into the woman sitting in front of her.

“Okay,” Lena’s shoulders drop, her spine relaxes, her hand settles in Kara’s. Her chin shakes in unshed tears, before the corners of mouth tilt up, even as she clenches and unclenches her jaw. Kara watches it all, watches emotions play out like a movie across Lena’s face. She only wishes Lena would use her words, say more than just _okay_. 

“I’m going to ask you to dig deep for this one,” Kara moves her rook to block Lena’s queen. “Do you think you knew the whole time? Do you think you knew who I really was but you didn’t want to admit it?”

Kara knows she needs to flesh out her question more, add in more to her theory, she just needs time to find the words. She licks her lips, rubbing her thumb against Lena’s hand before continuing. “Other than Alex, I’ve spent the most time with you. I spent three years with you, as me and as Supergirl. People I’m close to, they guess all the time. I just, I want to know, deep down, if you think you knew but wanted me as Kara more than you wanted to believe I was both.”

“I think,” Lena straightened her spine again, adopting a stoic posture, before dropping the facade all together, seeming to crumple in on herself. “I wanted you more than… I wanted more than you could give me. I wanted your friendship. I wanted to be trusted. I wanted to matter. And I did. With you. But I wanted more.”

Lena pauses, Kara watches her visibly gather herself, visibly calculating her response right in front of her.

“I think I knew, yes. The sudden departures, you being everywhere disaster was. I knew. I chose not to. I chose to want instead. But I shouldn’t have wanted anything,” Lena pulls her hand free, using the moment of uncertainty to wrap her arms around herself, hands grasping her elbows, pulling herself closer, protecting her heart. 

“Why though? You’re allowed to want things Lena, everyone is,” Kara kept her hand on the table, turning it up, hoping Lena would reach back out. 

“It’s not your move,” Lena couldn’t contain the full sob, but swallowed it down as much as she could. Kara still heard the sharp exhale, still heard the immediate inhale of emotions. Heard Lena retreat back into herself just as easily as she opened up.

“What is it that you want, Kara?” Lena blocks again, moving her queen, “Check.”

Kara looked down at the board. Her eyes darting over the pieces. She recalled the book. There were a few ways out of this but she couldn’t care less. She would fold, over and over, if Lena got to feel like she won just once.

“I want,” Kara flexed her fingers, begging Lena to come back silently. When that didn’t work, “Can you please hold my hand?”

Kara watches Lena pull in her top lip with her tongue, one cheek sucked into her teeth, her eyes swimming, before Lena reaches out. She places her hand into Kara’s like she is giving her all of herself. Like Kara has Lena’s entire life, her heart, in the palm of her hand.

“I want to be Kara and Lena again. To be us again. Us with our friends. Us at a bougie new lunch spot or at Noonan’s. Sitting on couches all over National City. You as my game night partner. Us doing new things, different things,” Kara takes a second to collect her breath, noticing her chest heaving slightly, heartbeat thrumming in her throat. Kara could hear the equally erratic beat of Lena’s. She can hear the clenching of her teeth, the deep swallows, can practically feel the heat radiating off of Lena’s reddening skin. Lena didn’t seem angry or annoyed, she seemed almost invested in what Kara was saying, deeply invested, so Kara continued.

“I want different like you agreeing to come to karaoke and actually singing a song,” Kara feels herself smile, genuinely, her eyes crinkling, at the thought of a slightly tipsy Lena singing and dancing with her on stage. “I want a musical marathon where you don’t fall asleep during it. I want to wake up after that and drink coffee barefoot in my kitchen. I want to see you in pajamas. Then I want to fly us to Midvale, to the ocean, to show you all of my favorite places,” Kara stops then, knowing she needs to cut herself off. She was diving into a dream, a wish really, she knew would never be possible. “Sorry. That was… really specific, but you, you get it. You know what I want.”

Kara reached up to fiddle with her glasses before she realized she wasn’t wearing them. They had agreed in one of their earlier conversations, that Kara wouldn’t wear them around Lena, to make her feel more comfortable, to bridge the two worlds in a subtle way.

In her fumble to adjust nonexistent glasses, she feels the tears on her own cheek, tears she didn’t even realize were falling. Kara tries to downplay her tears, uses the fumble as a cover to wipe them away before she looks back at Lena. 

Lena.

Lena with tears streaming down her face. 

Lena with the most hopeful of sad smiles. 

Lena breathing through her nose, sniffling occasionally.

Lena.

And in that moment. A wish could be reality. A dream could be now. If Kara were bold enough. If she made the right move. If she made the only move she’s wanted to make since the moment she met Lena.

“It’s your turn,” Lena rasps out, clearing her throat of emotion. She watches Kara smile while crying silently. She watches as something passes over Kara’s face. Some realization. Some end to this game they’ve been playing.

“Kara,” Lena clutches Kara’s hand tighter, trying to bring her back. “What’s your question?”

Kara doesn’t react. Instead she replays the past, imagines the future she wants. She feels herself grin, her shoulders shaking, this time with happy tears, a promise of something new, something better.

“Kara? What’s your move?” Lena felt herself panicking, felt herself getting frantic. This cheshire grin on Kara’s face startling her. So different from the mood she was feeling. So different than what she expected Kara to feel. “Do something. Say something!” Lena knew her voice was louder, higher pitched, that she was practically begging Kara to do anything.

Kara looked down at the board, then back at Lena. Taking in her red rimmed eyes, clenched jaw, heartbeat coming out of her chest. Kara felt the taunt muscles in her mouth, knowing her smile must be unsettling. Knowing Lena couldn’t read her mind. Knowing Lena had no idea that Kara was living out a fantasy world in her head that she never thought would be possible.

“My move,” Kara reaches towards the board, pulling her hand from Lena’s, slowly, deliberately, she knocks her king over. She grips the edge of the table and flips it over sideways. The pieces, the board, crashing all round them, scattering across the floor, into the kitchen.

Lena was on her feet in seconds, her hands pulled into her chest, scared. As if a switch had been flipped in Kara. She looks towards her kitchen where her own black queen piece spins against the tile. Lena feels a large warm hand on her cheek, directing her attention directly towards Kara. 

“You love me?” Kara breaths out, her thumb resting on Lena’s cheek.

“Yes,” there it was again. Lena releasing one single word holding every emotion. “You know I do.”

“And I love you,” Kara searches Lena’s face. Committing it to memory. Capturing every color in her eyes. The blush of her cheeks. The way a few eyelashes bunch together. If she never gets to be this close again, she needs to burn it into her memory to take with her after.

“So you’ve said,” Lena reaches her hands up, gripping onto Kara’s sweater. Keeping her in place. Daring her to keep going.

“I love you, Lena. I think I’ve loved you from the moment I met you, I just didn’t realize it.” Kara kicks a pawn at her feet along the floor, stepping closer. “You didn’t ask a question but I want this to be my answer. Whatever you can throw at me, I love you. Whatever you do, I love you. Wherever you are, I love you. As my best friend and,” Kara sucks in a deep breath, shifting closer, hands reaching to Lena’s jaw, urging her closer still. “If you answer my last question, I’d like to love you in more ways than that.”

“Ask me then.”

“Can I kiss you?”

Kara feels the breath of relief ghost across her lips before she hears the one syllable she hopes to hear from Lena forever.

“Yes.”

Kara can’t help the tiny laugh, her own sigh of relief, that escapes her as she leans in closer to Lena.

“I’m sorry, one more question. Are you sure?” Kara pulls back, leaning her forehead against Lena’s.

“I think I’ve loved you from the moment I met you too. It's why you lying hurt so much. Why I acted like I did. Why I wanted you to feel as hurt as I did. I know. I _know_ I should have just talked to you. I should have done so many things differently. I know that. But I know I love you. Does that answer your question?” Lena nudges Kara’s forehead up. Disconnecting them, allowing Kara a clear view of Lena’s face.

Kara leans in again, so close she can practically taste Lena already.

“I think a simple yes would have sufficed but, yes,” Lena could feel Kara’s smile against her lips. “Yes, that will do.”

Kara leans in and finally, finally feels the full warmth of Lena. She lets her dreams become reality. Let’s herself wish. Wish for more.

Their kiss starts as just a tentative pressing of lips. Unmoving. And yet, it was everything. It was everything until Kara shifted her hands around to Lena’s back, pulling her closer. The tiny gasp that escaped Lena’s mouth allowed Kara to deepen it, her tongue running along the inside of Lena’s bottom lip. Lena gripped harder against Kara’s shirt, biting on Kara’s lip before tilting her head and licking into Kara’s mouth fully, completely. 

Kara’s hands drifted down Lena’s back, feeling the curve of her hips as Lena’s hands made their way into Kara’s hair. 

“I’m going to be bad at this,” Kara pulls up, leaning her forehead against Lena’s, their labored breathing swirling together in the space between them.

Lena can’t help the laugh that bubbles out of her throat. “What do you mean?” Lena kisses her lightly and pulls back, a smile clearly held in her eyes.

“The whole dating thing. Being flirty and not bumbling or awkward. I’m going to say the wrong thing,” Kara stops her ramble when she feels the rigidity of Lena’s back, a slight sign of panic on Lena’s face.

“Are we,” Lena’s hands fisted in Kara’s shirt relax a little, like she wants to push away, her breathing even more ragged, her cheeks flushed, “Are we dating?”

“Do you want to?” Kara moves her hands up to Lena’s against her chest, holding her in place. Kara’s voice holds hints of hesitancy, confusion, as if they aren’t on the same page. “Wait. Oh my god. I could have done that so much better. I should have done like a grand gesture or something.”

“No, no. Stop,” Lena cuts her off, moving her hands to tangle her fingers into Kara’s, “I want everything with you. So just… stop talking. Stop overthinking. We can do that later. We have so much time. Just kiss me again. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kara breaths out, a laugh trailing behind it before leaning in and recapturing Lena’s lips. 

It was slow, and sweet. A breath of fresh air. A new beginning. Easy. 

Easy until Lena ran her fingers along the back of Kara’s neck. The delicate touch, the tingle of it, shot electricity through Kara. Her hands grew a mind of their own, wandering up and down Lena’s back, grabbing at her hips, pulling her flush against her. Pulling closer still. 

Kara lets her hands wander, she cups Lena’s ass and pulls her up and in. Kara sees fireworks as Lena gasps out against her lips, a whine caressing her ears. Lena’s legs wrap around Kara’s waist, her hands pushing deeper in Kara’s golden hair.

“Ka-Kara. Wait,” Lena held her open mouth against Kara’s lips, breathing deeply, catching her breath. “I think, maybe, I think we should stop.”

“Why?” Kara drops her mouth to Lena’s jaw line, peppering kissing, tonguing her earrings, running the tip of her tongue over every inch of Lena she’s wanted to taste for so long.

“Baby,” Lena breathes out the word the same way she breathed out _yes_. Everything in one word.

“Fuck, Lena,” Kara adds a second word that could mean more than everything, but this word, this one, sent a rip, a tear, a grip, directly into her heart, her stomach, and lower still. Settling, taking up everything. 

“Since when,” Lena chokes out after a sharp bite to her throat was covered with a hot tongue. “Since when do you say fuck?”

Kara, still holding Lena, turns and takes a step towards the hallway, her mouth, her tongue, never stopping, never leaving Lena’s skin. Kara sucks against Lena’s pulse point, pushing her against the wall.

“Since when,” Kara pulls back, licking Lena’s top lip playfully, “do you call me baby?”

Lena pulls Kara back into her by her neck, her legs wrapping tighter. Kara presses Lena harder into the wall, holding her up by the pressure of her hips. She reaches down to tug at the edges of Lena’s shirt.

“Can I?” Kara huffs out into Lena’s ear.

“Please.”

Kara pulls the shirt up, ripping it down the center as she drags it up the soft skin of Lena’s stomach. Lena raises her arms, putting all of her weight onto Kara’s hips, holding her against the wall. 

Lena whimpers for so many different reasons when Kara tears the shirt from her body.

“Lena,” Kara marvels at the skin now on display. Lena on display for her. Her chest flush, her lips swollen, a blossoming mark making itself known on her neck. 

Kara breathes rapidly, her mouth hanging open, her own skin heating up, her body opening up to Lena. She can’t help herself when she grips onto Lena again, resuming her walk down the hallway, kissing Lena deeply. 

She can’t help herself when she slams Lena against the wall again. She needs to move her hands, to feel more. She runs her hands down Lena’s sides, holding her in place with her hips against the wall. She feels Lena shift her hips, grind down against her. 

Lena throws her head back at the feeling, the thunk against the wall brings Kara’s hand to the back of Lena’s neck. Scraping her blunt nails against damp, overheated skin.

“Look at me,” Kara urgest Lena’s eyes open and she angles Lena’s head down towards her.

Lena’s pupils were blown, lips swollen and parted, catching her breath, brow furrowed in restraint. Kara has never seen Lena look so _good_.

“Kara,” Lena whines, jutting her hips forward, into Kara’s abs, over and over. Waiting for Kara to do something. Do more.

“Fuck,” Kara pushes her hips back against Lena, rolling against her. “I want you.”

Lena wraps her arms around Kara, burying her face in her shoulder, biting down, harder than she would normally. Begging Kara to feel it. Lena shifts her head, running her lips along Kara’s neck, biting, sucking, as hard as she could. Working her way to Kara’s ear.

“Then take me,” Lena whispers out, running the tip of her tongue along Kara’s ear.

Kara pulls Lena’s body away from the wall, pushing her hips out, her legs unwinding from Kara’s hips, feet landing on the floor.

“You trust me?” Kara levels Lena with eyes as black as the night sky, licking her lips, predatory.

“Always,” Lena takes a step towards Kara only to have her hips pushed back, as Kara bent down, Lena’s arms around her shoulders followed. The ripping sound of Lena’s pants melded together with the symphony of heavy breathing in the tight hallways.

“I liked those,” Lena pouts, looking at the pieces of fabric on the floor, pulling Kara back up by her hair.

“I like this better,” Kara picks Lena up again, her bare legs wrapping again, Kara stroking the underside of her thighs as she continues down the hallway towards Lena’s room. She sucks Lena’s bottom lip into her mouth before biting down hard and running her tongue over it. Lena threw her head back in ecstasy when Kara let up.

“Who are you?” Lena asks as Kara kicks open Lena’s door. 

“You know exactly who I am,” Kara lays Lena down on her bed, the only careful thing she’s done in the last ten minutes. 

The next thing to go are Lena’s socks as Kara settles herself on the bed. Peeled off slowly, Kara takes her time working her way up Lena’s body, lips running along her shins, her tongue swirling around Lena’s calf. Her hands holding Lena’s hip in place, restricting her movements. She uses Lena’s hands, a tug or a twist in her hair as a gauge to stop in certain places.

Lena arches her back as Kara inches closer, desperate for her to continue on. Up. Kara’s searing tongue, her labored puffs of breath against the sensitive skin of her inner thigh. Lena’s entire body was on fire, shaking in anticipation for Kara to arrive where she needed her. 

Then nothing. Nothing except hot breath where Lena wants touch. Needs it. Lena pushes up on her elbows to see Kara’s eyes wide and shocked.

“I… wait. Wait,” Kara sits up, running her hands over her cheeks, pulling down into her neck. “Okay. Woah.”

Lena watches as Kara tries to compose herself, watches as Kara’s hands stay clasped just under her chin, watches her chin drop to rest on them.

“Okay,” Kara gulps, rubbing her fisted fingers together, “I said I was going to be bad at dating but… I’m sorry. I don’t know what I’m doing. I think… I think I got carried away and I’m sorry.”

“Kara,” Lena tries to lose the whimper from her voice, the rasp. She sits up, pulling the edge of her blanket around herself, covering her near naked body. “Just stop thinking Kara. You’ve already got me out of my clothes. You’re basically already there.”

Lena takes both of Kara’s hands from under her chin, her fingers gliding over knuckles, twining with fingers, feeling the calluses of Kara’s palms. Lena can see something that looks like fear behind Kara’s eyes.

“But,” Lena places a kiss against Kara’s knuckles, “But we can stop now. We can stop. We don’t need to keep going. It’s okay. I promise. You’ve already given me more than I could have dreamed of.” 

Kara loosens one hand from Lena’s grasp, holding both of Lena’s hands in one of hers. She traces Lena’s jaw, down to her throat, she uses one finger to pull the blanket away from Lena’s chest. “I don’t think I want to stop.”

Kara’s eyes, once holding concern and worry, clear and began filling with hunger once again.

“Kara,” Lena pulls on Kara’s finger, bringing it to her lips, kissing the tip. “Punch first, ask questions later. I love that about you. But we don’t need to keep… punching if you don’t want to.”

“That metaphor is horrible, Lena,” Kara can’t help the laugh that shakes her body. She feels giddy all over. Everything about the last ten minutes. Everything about Lena.

Lena underneath her. 

Lena breathless.

Lena in just her maroon lacy bra and underwear.

“Do you though?” Kara stops laughing, her voice dropping an octave. 

“Love you?” Lena arches an eyebrow, bites her lip. “Completely. And not because you have me in bed. For a thousand reasons I can’t wait to tell you later,” Lena pushes herself up to kiss Kara, sucking on her bottom lip, stopping herself before she gets too worked up again.

“Later? Why later?” Kara practically whines against Lena’s mouth, her hands moving to Lena’s back to keep her close.

“Ba- sorry, Kara, I’m going to need to take a shower if… I’m going to need to take a shower so we can watch a move or go to sleep. Or just something else.”

“Why are we doing those things? I don’t want to do those things,” Kara’s hands start to wander again, up and down Lena’s back, her finger moving under Lena’s bra strap, running up and down the length of the fabric. She lowers her mouth to Lena’s neck again, the soft moan she gets is music to her ears.

“Do you want to?”

“Want to what Lee?” Kara takes Lena’s earlobe into her mouth, the tiny puffs of breath from her nose driving Lena wild. Her entire body heats up again as Kara pushes her back down, settling her weight between Lena’s legs.

“Lee? That’s new,” Lena scratches into Kara’s hair, pulling slightly for Kara to look at her. “We should stop before I can’t.”

“I don’t want to stop,” Kara takes in all of Lena below her, all the places Kara can feel. “I don’t want to stop at all. You just have to, you’re going to need to tell me what you want okay? Specifically.”

“I can do that. But you have to tell me if you want to stop the minute you don’t feel comfortable,” Lena runs her hands through Kara’s hair, settling on the back of her neck, scratching the soft skin, feeling the delicate hairs. “Deal?”

“Deal” Kara holds her hand up in the space between their heaving chests. Lena drops one arm from around Kara’s shoulders, sliding her hand into Kara’s. Lena took the half second of calm to flip Kara onto her back and straddle her hips.

“Good, because you are wearing entirely too many clothes for what I’d like to do now,” Lena leans down, kissing Kara deeply, taking control, before sitting back up and running her hands along the ends of Kara’s sweater.

“Can I?” Lena tilts her head and inches Kara’s sweater up, her fingers grazing skin.

“Words baby,” Lena stops, dropping the ends of Kara’s sweater when she receives just a nod.

“I didn’t know I ever wanted you to call me baby until this very moment. I didn’t know I wanted anyone to call me that. Never stop calling me that okay. And fuck. Yes. Take it off,” Lena nearly winces at the grip Kara has on her wrists. Nearly. The shock wave that coursed through her body at Kara swearing again nullified every other feeling in her body.

Lena runs her hands up under Kara’s sweater before taking it off. Kara shivers as chilled fingers touch her overheated skin. Kara feels Lena dance her fingers higher. She feels it when Lena digs her nails in and drags them back down her body. 

“Jesus Kara, that musical marathon needs to be clothing optional,” Lena leans down, shoving Kara’s shirt up to her chin, shifting back down Kara’s thigh and dropping her lips, her tongue to Kara’s abs. The soft skin Lena feels, tastes, is addicting. “How are you real?” Lena breathes out against Kara’s skin, licking a path up the now tightened muscles.

Kara arches her back, pulling herself closer to Lena’s tongue. Her hand goes to the back of Lena’s head, pulling her down, wanting to feel more pressure. 

Lena works her way up until she reaches the bottom of Kara’s sports bra. Lena pulls at the sweater, pulling Kara up enough to drag it off of her. Kara falls back and Lena chases after her, kissing her, hands feeling the ridges of her stomach, finger running under the edge of her bra.

“Can I?” Lena pulls back, three fingers still hooked under Kara’s bra.

“Don’t ask anymore. Anything you want. I’m in,” Kara pushed herself up, taking Lena’s lips in her own, arm wrapping around Lena pulling her down against her. Kara hums into Lena’s mouth when she feels the softness of Lena against her stomach. 

Kara feels the bed sip as Lena kicks out her leg to straddle one of Kara’s thighs. Lena pushes herself down against toned, clenched muscles. The movement, the noise Lena makes, drives the hunger, the need in Kara ten fold.

Kara grips against Lena hips, pulling and pushing her against her. Lena braces her forearms on either side of Kara’s head, the material of their covered chests brushing together. The hard puffs of Lena’s breath against Kara’s ear driving her wild. The coil in Kara’s center tightening with each thrust of Lena’s hips.

Lena works one hand down to the button on Kara’s jeans. Her hips still canting against Kara’s thigh as her fingers pull at the button.

“Off,” Lena lifts herself up off Kara, pulling at the waistband of Kara’s pants. Kara moves her hands and rips her pants down, kicking them off with her feet, pulling Lean back down to her bare thigh.

Kara can feel how hot, how wet Lena is against her. The only thing in her way is the scratchy fabric of Lena’s lacy panties. 

“Off,” Kara shifts her fingers under the band of Lena’s lacy underwear, pulling it away from Lena’s hips.

“Do it,” Lena moans out against Kara’s neck, biting down hard. The tear didn’t even register to Kara but the panting against her ear did. The grip in her hair did. Even the sound of tattered lace hitting the floor across the room hit her ears. But none of that matters.

As Lena starts thrusting her hips faster, Kara could finally feel her completely. The heat, the wetness, all of it. As Lena’s hips pushed harder against her thigh, Kars pulled her down harder, pushing up into Lena. Letting the panting in her ear drive the tempo.

Kara reaches around Lena’s back and unhooks her bra, pulling it off and throwing it into the darkness of the room. Kara’s eyes double in size. She has to stop herself from gripping Lena’s hip too tightly. Lena drags her hand down to Kara’s fingers, pushing down on them, urging Kara to hold on tighter, pull and push faster. Kara eagerly complies, adding more pressure as Lena drops back down on her elbows, letting out a high pitched whine

“Kar- Kara. I’m close,” Lena breathes out against her ear, dropping her weight on Kara’s chest, her arms losing their strength. 

“Okay,” Kara responds without thinking, pushing lightly up against Lena’s chest to get more of the view she wanted. Lena’s breasts move in sync with each thrust of her hips. Kara releases her hold on Lena’s hip to run her fingers over the smooth, creamy skin in front of her. Kara snakes her arm around Lena’s back to keep her in place and she traces her lips along the path her fingers created. 

Kara kisses and licks the softest skins she’s ever felt. She stops herself from biting or sucking too hard. But there are parts of her that can’t help it. Kara wants to devour Lena. Ravish her.

When Kara’s tongue runs over a hardened nipple, she takes it fully into her mouth. Swirling her tongue, biting. Lena lets out a scream, her hips jumping off Kara’s thigh before crashing back down even harder. Lena pulls at Kara’s hair, digs her nails into impenetrable skin. 

The panting against Kara’s shoulder, the teeth biting into it, spur her on. She sucks harder against Lena’s nipple, pulls at Lena’s hips more incessantly. Kara moves her mouth to ravish Lena’s other nipple.

Trying a new tactic. She pulls on it with her teeth before surging forward with her tongue, lapping, pulling it into her mouth, sucking hard. Her grip on Lena’s hips pulling her down harder, faster still.

Kara is spurred on by the breathless chanting of her name coming from Lena’s mouth. She pulls against Lena’s hips, pushing up into her. Meeting every thrust of Lena’s hips with one her own.

The yell that rips through the room startles Kara, her hands, her mouth stilling, as Lena falls against her chest. Lena’s thrusting hips turning into tiny pulses. The wet, warm feeling against Kara’s thigh grows.

“Are you okay?” Kara asks after a minute, brushing Lena’s dark hair from her face. Kara kisses her hair line.

“I’m so okay. So so okay,” Lena lifts her head and kisses Kara with swollen lips, hot tongue pushing into her mouth immediately. Licking, sucking.

Lena reaches down and pulls Kara’s sports bra up and off. Her hips still slowly grinding against Kara’s thigh. Lena runs her hands from Kara’s shoulders down to her peaked breasts, fingers circling her nipples.

“I can’t believe you’re real Kara,” Lena sucks in a breath before surging forward and connecting their lips. Lena is in complete control. She parts Kara’s lips, pushing her tongue inside her mouth, tasting Kara, sucking on her tongue. Running along her top tip, biting, before moving down to her jaw.

“I wish I could leave a mark on you,” Lena huffs into Kara’s ear before biting down on her pulse point. Sucking hard. 

Lena stops her path down at Kara’s collar bone, running her teeth along the bone, dipping her tongue into the divot there. She cups one of Kara’s breasts while running her tongue, her teeth over Kara’s taut nipple. 

Kara feels it all. She feels everything. She feels it everywhere. Where Lena’s mouth bites and sucks. She feels it in her belly. She feels it lowerl. The coil of it all burns hot.

It scares Kara. She knows she can’t control herself. Not when she feels like this. Not when Lena is making her feel like this.

Lena’s fingers trail just above the waistband of her boxer briefs. Kara knows she needs to stop this now, before Lena gets hurt. Before she hurts Lena.

“Le-” Kara tries to say through her desire, but the words, her name, won’t come. She grips the wrist dancing at the edge of her boxers. “Lena. I could hurt you.”

Kara flips them, she has to. She has to take control. Lena underneath her. God, it's almost worse. 

“Lena, I might hurt you if I get too… worked up,” Kara pins Lena’s wandering hands above her head against the bed.

“Fuck Kara, I don’t care. I just want you to feel good,” Lena squirms under Kara’s hold, her thigh making its way up to Kara’s center.

Kara cants forward against the pressure, gripping Lena’s wrist tighter. The pressure against her too much to stop her forward movement.

“Baby, my hands,” Lena whines. Not in pain, more like she wants to use them. But Kara releases them like she had burned Lena.

“I’m going to try something and you just tell me if it's too much, okay?” Lena licks her lips and looks up to Kara for confirmation.

“Don’t get mad if I fly out of here. Lena, if I hurt you, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Baby, we’ve already hurt each other and look where we are,” Lean pushing the waistband of Kara’s boxers down, Kara lifts her hips again, kicking them the rest of the way off. “We can come back from anything. So let me try okay. I want you to feel good.”

Kara nods and lowers herself back down, Lena’s thigh gliding against the wetness of her center. Kara closes her eyes at the feeling and shakes her head above Lena.

“You say the word and I’ll stop. I promise,” Lena pauses, stilling her hands against the muscles on Kara’s back, dropping her thigh between Kara’s legs.

“I trust you. I want you,” Kara lowers herself further, kissing Lena, letting the pressure of her thigh settle against her.

Lena kisses back with passion, tongue and teeth. Her hands running over Kara’s back before guiding Kara even closer.

“Did you feel what I did?” Lena spoke against Kara’s mouth. “Try that.”

Kara knew what she wanted. Knew exactly what she wanted but she held back. She couldn’t hurt Lena. She could never really let go. But she pushed her hips forward against Lena’s thigh despite her mind.

Kara fists the sheets, tearing them instantly. She couldn’t control herself. If she pushed herself like she wanted to, Lena’s thigh would shatter.

“Okay, okay baby,” Lena digs her fingers into Kara’s hip, stopping the inner turmoil she can see written on Kara’s face. “I can hear you without words. I trust you.”

Lena drops her thigh an inch, and moves her hand in the space she created.

“Don’t push down so hard. You haven’t hurt me but let me control this. Stop me if you feel like you can’t handle it,” Lena held her hand in place as Kara hovered above her, pain and fear etched across her face again. 

“I trust you. I love you. I won’t hurt you,” Kara licks her lips. Taking in Lena below her, chancing it all for Kara. Giving everything she had for a moment. A moment for Kara to feel her. Completely.

Kara leans down slowly, searching Lena’s eyes for any sign of the fear she felt. Any sign that she feared for her life like she should. Kara kisses Lena with everything she has. Every emotion. Every wish, dream. With everything. 

Kara lowered herself back down, relaxing against Lena. Letting her take control. Kara feels Lena’s hand against her thigh, unmoving. Letting Kara settled back in.

Kara wound her hand in Lena’s against the pillow, pinning it above their heads, feeling everything in this kiss. Pouring her hopes into it. Giving herself completely to Lena.

“I love you,” Lena whispers against Kara’s lips before her hand, trapped between her thigh and Kara starts to move.

Kara felt the coil of the movement immediately. She feels Lena’s fingers circling a part of her she didn’t even know existed. Kara’s mind goes blank.

All she can see is Lena. Their first meeting. The galas, the lunches, the articles, working together. The bitterness. The hatred. All of it shrouded in love. All of it out of longing. Wanting. Loving.

Kara sees Lena.

Sees Lena as hers. Hers for forever.

Kara holds back a sob as she feels skillful fingers working against her. Kara clenches her jaw at the memories, the utter euphoria she’s feeling with Lena beneath her. She pushes everything else away.

Kara opens her eyes, locks them with the green blue of Lena’s. She lets herself be here. She lets herself be Lena’s

She leans in and kisses Lena, releasing her lip as a moan tears through her body. She feels Lena’s fingers against her, she hears Lena’s fingering moving in her wetness. 

“You’re perfect Kara,” Lena whispers against Kara’s neck. “I love you.”

Kara moves her hips then, moving with the rhythm Lena has set. Kara drops her head to Lena’s neck. Feeling the tension with each circle of her fingers. Like Lena felt it everywhere, the same way Kara felt everything Lena was doing to her.

“I-” Kara breathes in against Lena’s neck, her hips moving faster against Lena’s fingers, her thigh. “I love you. I love you. Don’t stop”

Kara’s panting against Lena’s neck gets most stunted as her hips keep moving, as Lena’s fingers push harder, circling faster. Kara’s back tightens first. Her stomach clenching next, she stops breathing seconds later.

“Let go baby. I’m right here,” Lena pressed her cheek against Kara’s, her forehead pressed into the pillow beside Lena.

Kara holds her breath, releasing a gasp before her panting becomes erratic, stunting, stopping all together, the coil refusing to unleash inside her, her hips pushing into Lena’s fingers, her balled fists ripping the sheets beyond repair. But never wanting to hurt.

She clenches her eyes shut, knowing if she opens them she’d torch lines into Lena’s walls, maybe even Lena’s skin. Her hands bury deeper into the tattered sheets, tearing into the pillow top of the mattress.

Kara can’t stop the canting of her hips. She can temper them yes, she knows she needs to slow down but she needs Lena’s finger against her more. She needs just a few seconds longer before she completely loses it. Loses herself in Lena.

Kara focuses on Lena and just Lena to get to that release. Touching her, being with her, Lena gasping, biting, that overwhelming feeling pushes Kara closer to the edge. She pushes her hips the slightest bit harder against Lena’s hand.

Kara’s hands bury deeper into the mattress, knuckles brushing against the springs as she moves against Lena’s circling fingers. Matching her speed, matching her force.

She crushes through the metal springs as her orgasm builds deeper, higher, as Lena’s fingers work against her clit. Kara could map Lena’s fingerprint from feeling if she were asked to. She felt every movement of Lena beneath her. Everything.

Her breathy grunts turn to a slow, drawn out moan as Lena circles her fingers just right. Kara feels her orgasm seize her body, her mind, Kara stutters above Lena, over and over before she finally comes. Barely breathing, barely able to function. Kara gaped above Lena, soundlessly. Letting wave after wave rush through her. Until finally, finally, Kara rode it out, dropping down, sagging into Lena.

Kara stays there, her forehead resting against Lena’s, eyes shut tight, holding back her heat vision until she knew she was calm enough. Until she knew she could open her eyes and see the woman she loved.

When she finally did, Lena was looking up at her as if her entire life hung on Kara’s feeling. As if Kara were her one guiding light, her focus, if Kara was happy, Lena would be. If Kara was hurt, Lena would feel it too. She knew their futures were intertwined. They would be and feel and do and exist in the same space for as long as this feeling lasted.

And it would last forever, Kara silently vowed herself to that. She couldn’t be in this life without Lena. Not anymore.

Kara shifts her body and drops herself next to Lena, panting, actually sweating, her mind racing with so many possibilities.

“That was…” Kara stops and turns on her side to face Lena. Kara pulls her heavy arm up to cup Lena’s jaw, pulling her face away from the ceiling, the space Kara had just moved from, towards her. “You’re… You’re you. And I adore you.”

Lena blinks her blurring eyes awake, alert, pushing herself up on her elbow to look down on Kara.

“You, Kara Zor-El. You are you. And I adore you right back,” Lena whispers, leaning down, leaving a lingering kiss on Kara’s lips.

“You, Lena Luthor, will wake up tomorrow and stand against your kitchen island in your pajamas. You’ll drink coffee with me and we’ll start the rest of our lives,” Kara pushes up, her lips brushing against Lena’s. “We’ll start it together. Deal?”

Lena ran her thumb over Kara’s cheek, her jaw, her shoulder, before running her hand along her abs, grabbing the hand resetting there and shaking it.

“Deal.”


End file.
